"Psychopaths are social predators who charm, manipulate and ruthlessly plow their way through life, leaving a broad trail of broken hearts, shattered expectations and empty wallets. Completely lacking in conscience and feelings for others, they selfishly take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without the slightest sense of guilt or regret."
Beware the sociopath No heart, no conscience, no remorse
I married a con man—a man who I now consider to be a sociopath. I didn't know anything about sociopaths when I said, "I do." Well, I learned about sociopaths (also called psychopaths) the hard way.
I thought I was marrying a successful businessman, James Montgomery. It turned out I was his business. He took all my money and left me seriously in debt.
Think it couldn't happen to you? Think again.
I found out, far too late, that my husband had a history of defrauding women. I also found out he's not alone.
Experts estimate that 1% to 4% of the population are sociopaths, depending upon whom you ask. That means there may be 3 to 12 million sociopaths in the United States, and 67 to 269 million sociopaths worldwide. What's worse, as adults, sociopathic men and women cannot be rehabilitated. Once a sociopath, always a sociopath.
Sociopaths have no heart, no conscience and no remorse. They don't worry about paying bills. They think nothing of lying, cheating and stealing. In extreme cases, sociopaths can be serial rapists and serial killers.
Think you can spot a sociopath? Think again. Sociopaths often blend easily into society. They're entertaining and fun at parties. They appear to be intelligent, charming, well-adjusted and likable. The key word is "appear." Because for sociopaths it's all an illusion, designed to convince you to give them what they want.
Sociopaths are masters of manipulation. So before you give away your love, your money or your life, read this website and the Lovefraud Blog.
http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/2008/11/13/sadism-and-warped-empathy-in-sociopaths/
How They Blend In
Charming, entertaining, witty Sociopaths look and act like your best friend If you expect sociopaths to have a crazy or sinister appearance, you're sadly mistaken. Sociopaths look non-descript, average or attractive—just like anybody else. Sociopaths come from all walks of life—including well-educated, well-off families. Many sociopaths, therefore, have good social graces. They know how to dress and how to behave in polite society. This doesn't stop them from lying, cheating and stealing. On the contrary, it makes their deceptions easier. Sociopaths from middle-class or privileged backgrounds often excel at white collar crime—fraud, phony stock schemes, embezzlement. Why sociopaths are hard to recognize 1. They're fluent talkers (liars). Even when caught in a lie, they change their stories without skipping a beat. 2. They're totally comfortable in social situations and cool under pressure. 3. They use family or business connections to make themselves appear legitimate. 4. They often become, or pretend to be, clergy, lawyers, physicians, teachers, counselors and artists. Most of us generally assume people in these positions are trustworthy. 5. They're happy to exaggerate—or fabricate—credentials. Few of us check their references. 6. They will say absolutely anything—"I love you," "You can trust me," "I'll never do it again." The words, to them, mean absolutely nothing. |
Antisocial Personality Disorder Overview (Written by Derek Wood, RN, BSN,
PhD Candidate)
Antisocial Personality Disorder results in what is commonly known as a
Sociopath. The criteria for this disorder require an ongoing disregard for the
rights of others, since the age of 15 years. Some examples of this disregard are
reckless disregard for the safety of themselves or others, failure to conform to
social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, deceitfulness such as repeated
lying or deceit for personal profit or pleasure, and lack of remorse for actions
that hurt other people in any way. Additionally, they must have evidenced a
Conduct Disorder before the age of 15 years, and must be at least 18 years old
to receive this diagnosis.
People with this disorder appear to be charming at times, and make
relationships, but to them, these are relationships in name only. They are ended
whenever necessary or when it suits them, and the relationships are without
depth or meaning, including marriages. They seem to have an innate ability to
find the weakness in people, and are ready to use these weaknesses to their own
ends through deceit, manipulation, or intimidation, and gain pleasure from doing
so.
They appear to be incapable of any true emotions, from love to shame to guilt.
They are quick to anger, but just as quick to let it go, without holding
grudges. No matter what emotion they state they have, it has no bearing on their
future actions or attitudes.
They rarely are able to have jobs that last for any length of time, as they
become easily bored, instead needing constant change. They live for the moment,
forgetting the past, and not planning the future, not thinking ahead what
consequences their actions will have. They want immediate rewards and
gratification. There currently is no form of psychotherapy that works with those
with antisocial personality disorder, as those with this disorder have no desire
to change themselves, which is a prerequisite. No medication is available
either. The only treatment is the prevention of the disorder in the early
stages, when a child first begins to show the symptoms of conduct disorder.
This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.
Other Related Qualities:
(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R.
Hare.)
NOTE: In the 1830's this disorder was called "moral insanity." By 1900 it was
changed to "psychopathic personality." More recently it has been termed
"antisocial personality disorder" in the DSM-III and DSM-IV. Some critics have
complained that, in the attempt to rely only on 'objective' criteria, the DSM
has broadened the concept to include too many individuals. The APD category
includes people who commit illegal, immoral or self-serving acts for a variety
of reasons and are not necessarily psychopaths.
DSM-IV Definition
Antisocial personality disorder is characterized by a lack of regard for the
moral or legal standards in the local culture. There is a marked inability to
get along with others or abide by societal rules. Individuals with this disorder
are sometimes called psychopaths or sociopaths.
Diagnostic Criteria (DSM-IV)
1. Since the age of fifteen there has been a disregard for and violation of the
right's of others, those right's considered normal by the local culture, as
indicated by at least three of the following:
A. Repeated acts that could lead to arrest.
B. Conning for pleasure or profit, repeated lying, or the use of aliases.
C. Failure to plan ahead or being impulsive.
D. Repeated assaults on others.
E. Reckless when it comes to their or others safety.
F. Poor work behavior or failure to honor financial obligations.
G. Rationalizing the pain they inflict on others.
2. At least eighteen years in age.
3. Evidence of a Conduct Disorder, with its onset before the age of fifteen.
4. Symptoms not due to another mental disorder.
THE PSYCHOPATH NEXT DOOR (Source: http://chericola57.tripod.com/infinite.html)
Psychopath. We hear the word and images of Bernardo, Manson and Dahmer pop into
our heads; no doubt Ted Bundy too. But they're the bottom of the barrel -- most
of the two million psychopaths in North America aren't murderers. They're our
friends, lovers and co-workers. They're outgoing and persuasive, dazzling you
with charm and flattery. Often you aren't even aware they've taken you for a
ride -- until it's too late.
Psychopaths exhibit a Jekyll and Hyde personality. "They play a part so they can
get what they want," says Dr. Sheila Willson, a Toronto psychologist who has
helped victims of psychopaths. The guy who showers a woman with excessive
attention is much more capable of getting her to lend him money, and to put up
with him when he strays. The new employee who gains her co-workers' trust has
more access to their check books. And so on. Psychopaths have no conscience and
their only goal is self-gratification. Many of us have been their victims -- at
work, through friendships or relationships -- and not one of us can say, "a
psychopath could never fool me."
Think you can spot one? Think again. In general, psychopaths aren't the product
of broken homes or the casualties of a materialistic society. Rather they come
from all walks of life and there is little evidence that their upbringing
affects them. Elements of a psychopath's personality first become evident at a
very early age, due to biological or genetic factors. Explains Michael Seto, a
psychologist at the Centre for Addiction and Mental health in Toronto, by the
time that a person hits their late teens, the disorder is almost certainly
permanent. Although many clinicians use the terms psychopath and sociopath
interchangeably, writes psychopath expert Robert Hare on his book 'Without
Conscience', a sociopath's criminal behavior is shaped by social forces and is
the result of a dysfunctional environment.
Psychopaths have only a shallow range of emotions and lack guilt, says Hare.
They often see themselves as victims, and lack remorse or the ability to
empathize with others. "Psychopaths play on the fact that most of us are
trusting and forgiving people," adds Seto. The warning signs are always there;
it's just difficult to see them because once we trust someone, the friendship
becomes a blinder.
Even lovers get taken for a ride by psychopaths. For a psychopath, a romantic
relationship is just another opportunity to find a trusting partner who will buy
into the lies. It's primarily why a psychopath rarely stays in a relationship
for the long term, and often is involved with three or four partners at once,
says Willson. To a psychopath, everything about a relationship is a game.
Willson refers to the movie 'Sliding Doors' to illustrate her point. In the
film, the main character comes home early after just having been fired from her
job. Only moments ago, her boyfriend has let another woman out the front door.
But in a matter of minutes he is the attentive and concerned boyfriend, taking
her out to dinner and devoting the entire night to comforting her. All the while
he's planning to leave the next day on a trip with the other woman.
The boyfriend displays typical psychopathic characteristics because he falsely
displays deep emotion toward the relationship, says Willson. In reality, he's
less concerned with his girlfriend's depression than with making sure she's
clueless about the other woman's existence. In the romance department,
psychopaths have an ability to gain your affection quickly, disarming you with
words, intriguing you with grandiose plans. If they cheat you'll forgive them,
and one day when they've gone too far, they'll leave you with a broken heart
(and an empty wallet). By then they'll have a new player for their game.
The problem with their game is that we don't often play by their rules. Where we
might occasionally tell a white lie, a psychopath's lying is compulsive. Most of
us experience some degree of guilt about lying, preventing us from exhibiting
such behavior on a regular basis. "Psychopaths don't discriminate who it is they
lie to or cheat," says Seto. "There's no distinction between friend, family and
sucker."
No one wants to be the sucker, so how do we prevent ourselves from becoming
close friends or getting into a relationship with a psychopath? It's really
almost impossible, say Seto and Willson. Unfortunately, laments Seto, one way is
to become more suspicious and less trusting of others. Our tendency is to
forgive when we catch a loved one in a lie. "Psychopaths play on this fact," he
says. "However, I'm certainly not advocating a world where if someone lies once
or twice, you never speak to them again." What you can do is look at how often
someone lies and how they react when caught. Psychopaths will lie over and over
again, and where other people would sincerely apologize, a psychopath may
apologize but won't stop.
Psychopaths also tend to switch jobs as frequently as they switch partners,
mainly because they don't have the qualities to maintain a job for the long
haul. Their performance is generally erratic, with chronic absences, misuse of
company resources and failed commitments. Often they aren't even qualified for
the job and use fake credentials to get it. Seto talks of a patient who would
get marketing jobs based on his image; he was a presentable and charming man who
layered his conversations with educational and occupational references. But it
became evident that the man hadn't a clue what he was talking about, and was
unable to hold down a job.
How do you make sure you don't get fooled when you're hiring someone to baby-sit
your child or for any other job? Hire based on reputation and not image, says
Willson. Check references thoroughly. Psychopaths tend to give vague and
inconsistent replies. Of course the best way to solve this problem would be to
cure psychopaths of their 'illness.' But there's no recipe for treating them,
say psychiatrists. Today's traditional methods of psychotherapy (psychoanalysis,
group and one-on-one therapy) and drug treatments have failed. Therapy is more
likely to work when an individual admits there's a problem and wants to change.
The common problem with psychopaths, says Sets, "Is they don't see a problem
with their behavior."
Psychopaths don't seek therapy willingly, says Seto. Rather, they're pushed into
it by a desperate relative or by a court order. To a psychopath, a therapist is
just one more person who must be conned, and the psychopath plays the part right
until the therapist is convinced of his or her 'rehabilitation.'
Even though we can't treat psychopaths effectively with therapy, it doesn't mean
we can't protect ourselves, writes Hare. Willson agrees, citing the most
important factor in keeping psychopaths at bay is to know your vulnerabilities.
We need to "realize our own potential and maximize our strengths" so that our
insecurities don't overcome us. Because, she says, a psychopath is a chameleon
who becomes "an image of what you haven't done for yourself." Over time, she
says, "their appearance of perfection will begin to crack," but by that time you
will have been emotionally and perhaps financially scathed. There comes a time
when you realize there's no point in searching for answers; the only thing is to
move on.
Taken in part from MW -- By Caroline Konrad -- September 1999
THE MALIGNANT PERSONALITY:
These people are mentally ill and extremely dangerous! The following precautions
will help to protect you from the destructive acts of which they are capable.
First, to recognize them, keep the following guidelines in mind.
(1) They are habitual liars. They seem incapable of either knowing or telling
the truth about anything.
(2) They are egotistical to the point of narcissism. They really believe they
are set apart from the rest of humanity by some special grace.
(3) They scapegoat; they are incapable of either having the insight or
willingness to accept responsibility for anything they do. Whatever the problem,
it is always someone else's fault.
(4) They are remorselessly vindictive when thwarted or exposed.
(5) Genuine religious, moral, or other values play no part in their lives. They
have no empathy for others and are capable of violence. Under older
psychological terminology, they fall into the category of psychopath or
sociopath, but unlike the typical psychopath, their behavior is masked by a
superficial social facade.
If you have come into conflict with such a person or persons, do the following
immediately!
(1) Notify your friends and relatives of what has happened.
Do not be vague. Name names, and specify dates and circumstances. Identify
witnesses if possible and provide supporting documentation if any is available.
(2) Inform the police. The police will do nothing with this information except
to keep it on file, since they are powerless to act until a crime has been
committed. Unfortunately, that often is usually too late for the victim.
Nevertheless, place the information in their hands.
Obviously, if you are assaulted or threatened before witnesses, you can get a
restraining order, but those are palliative at best.
(3) Local law enforcement agencies are usually under pressure if wealthy or
politically powerful individuals are involved, so include state and federal
agencies as well and tell the locals that you have. In my own experience, one
agency that can help in a pinch is the Criminal Investigation Division of the
Internal Revenue Service or (in Canada) Victims Services at your local police
unit. It is not easy to think of the IRS as a potential friend, but a Swedish
study showed that malignant types (the Swedes called them bullies) usually
commit some felony or other by the age of twenty. If the family is wealthy, the
fact may never come to light, but many felonies involve tax evasion, and in such
cases, the IRS is interested indeed. If large amounts of money are involved, the
IRS may solve all your problems for you.
(4) Make sure that several of your friends have the information in the event
something happens to you. That way, an appropriate investigation will follow if
you are harmed. Instruct friends to take such an incident to the
newspapers and other media.